10 MEN: THE NOT SO CLASSIC ISSUE. ON NEWSSTANDS LIKE NOW. SO RUN. GET ONE. BEFORE IT SELLS OUT.
All change, all change. Change is a good thing, I hear you cry. I hate change – I like routine. Change just for change’s sake is a waste of my time, but if change creates improvement, then I’m well up for it.
So I guess you’ve seen the cover by now and already realised that it’s been all change here at Ten Towers. (God, I’m using the word change a lot. Oops.) Yes, we’ve had a right good face-lift and a total body transplant. Thank you, Riccardo Ruini, our very new creative director. God, I wish I could have one – a face-lift, that is. Well, at least have the teeth of grief replaced, if nothing else. And maybe a hair transplant – that would shock the whole industry. I’ve been as bald as a baby’s arse since I was 21. Imagine me at the next shows with a Wintour bob. Fierce or what?! Derek, watch out, this bitch could be making his Shadow Lounge comeback.
Anyway, Mr Miles, get back to the point and the redesign – the new 3-D logo, the new fonts and the content, this time based around “the classics”. (Sorry, I went off on one for a second.)
After the last set of shows, which were so classic, we thought, “Why fight it? Let’s go with it.” So The Classics became the working title for the issue. I thought, “That’s done and dusted, an easy one.” How wrong was I? Everyone thought I was trying to catch them out. What exactly did I mean by “classics”? What are they? The kids in the office got it – but that was about it. I meant the greats, such as navy blue, military, the masters (as in art), Savile Row (as in tailoring) and good old-fashioned pen and paper. Oh, and we couldn’t leave out the male form and Mr Gray getting all fit and buffed up. Who wants to be skinny anymore? That moment has so passed. It’s all about pecs and biceps now. Well, it is for me anyway.
So, we got there in the end. Oh, and the one thing that never changes with us: there are no “glamour girls” gracing our cover, or reality-TV chicks modelling men’s suits inside. Just a load of male models and men – well, male industry insiders, if you know what I mean.
Hope you like it, and if you don’t, have a good old bitch on Twitter or Facebook and slag it off. As long as you talk about us, that’s all we care about. If nobody noticed us, we’d be well upset, like.
That’s enough from me. I’m buggering off on my hols now. Quick message to the Boss, The Greek, and all you PRs out there: I’m turning my Blackberry off and my out-of-office bounce-back is going up. Let me tan in peace for a change – even I need a rest once in a while.
God that was a rant!
Bye bye, Tenners. Over and out for now.