Wednesday 31st August

| BY Jack Moss

Church’s Release Their Brand New Campaign

Good news. A brand new campaign from Church’s, purveyor of fine footwear. Always a moment of great esteem. Church’s are posh shoes, so what posh location are those delicious soles are stomping upon this time? The hallowed turfs of Oxford University, that’s where. Think of this as a dose of intellectual totty with which to properly you through the rest of the afternoon. That bespectacled man looks a bit like a professor one would happily partake in an extra-marital affair with as he reads you lines from like Kaftka or Satre or something. But anyway. The shoes. They’re shiny. And expensive-looking. Which means we wish to conceal our hooves in them immediately. Will’s input? “It looks a bit like Hogwarts”. Yer, hope that helps.