Tuesday 29th November

| BY Jack Moss

Your First look At The Pirelli 2017 Calendar

A sneak peek at this year’s, or, rather, next year’s Pirelli calendar that features, as we one would expect, a stellar line up of beautiful ladies. Like the 2016 calendar, shot by Annie Liebowitz, these women are not your typical pneumatic models of old, but instead a selection of highly celebrated thespians – Nicole, Robin, Uma, Julia et al – this year photographed by the legendary Peter Lindbergh. And, for the first time, the women won’t even be retouched. Which begs the question – why the fuck were these women ever retouched in the first place? They look, simply, amazing. How do we look that good? Eating small children? Rubbing freshly farmed placenta upon our bodies? Injecting ourselves with the blood of a virgin? Fuck knows. “In the time when women are represented in the media, in every way else, as ambassadors of perfection and youth, I thought it was important to remind everyone that there is a different beauty, more real and truthful, and not manipulated by commercial or any other interests,” said Lindbergh at a press conference. “That is important, no? Beauty that speaks about individuality, courage to be yourself, and your very own sensibility. That’s my definition of a woman today. That is the goal of the calendar, to show that woman and not the stretched and manipulated [woman often shown in the media].” The other women to feature on the calendar’s pages, distributed to Pirelli’s clients, will include Jessica Chastain, Penelope Cruz, Rooney Mara, Helen Mirren, Lupita Nyong’o, Charlotte Rampling, Lea Seydoux, Alicia Vikander, Kate Winslet, Zhang Ziyi and the only non-actress, Anastasia Ignatova, professor of Political Theory at the Moscow State University of International Relations. Di-vine.