Ten Tips For Man Make-Up

Man Make-up

What was it Yoko Ono said about man make-up? “When you see a rainbow in the sky, breathe it in. And make your room into a rainbow room. Rainbow computer, rainbow phone. Rainbow apple, banana and pear. Wear rainbow glasses, rainbow hat. Start thinking what else be rainbows. Rainbow thoughts, rainbow heart. Take rainbow pills – but with caution.” While I can’t see how, exactly, Ono’s approach would work with someone from the outside, I do like the idea of rainbows across one’s face. Rainbows are pretty, ergo if you paint one across half your face you will be pretty, too. If you are not naturally bestowed with good looks, the rainbow will detract from said fact. If you happen to be a Givenchy model, tribal make-up in a cobalt blue only emphasises the handsomeness of your fine facial features. We are not all born handsome, though, which is why we must seek help where we can find it. And the rainbow we’ll be creating is courtesy of William Belli’s “filthy sunset” YouTube tutorial:

  1. Start with a primer, a neutral primer base, and highlight the brow. Add foundation. Add concealer. Set with powder, “so when dude’s not on it, it stays better”. Also, it really helps to set the base. Also, it smooths out all the edges, because you want smooth edges, not a “chunky milk-ass spread”. The smoothing out of edges also applies to all the cream eye shadow you will be applying later.
  2. Blending is a great trick. As is buffing. Which is basically the same as blending. If you have time. Otherwise, as Belli says, “Fuck it. It’s all going to go south anyway. Or end up on some man’s trousers.”
  3. “Line your eyes. Now this just gives a real prostitute-y look. See how that defines the eyes? It really calls attention to the fact that it’s a dude.”
  4. Highlight the nose! “I do, like, an exclamation point.”
  5. Highlight the cheekbones! “Some men do like to highlight below the cheekbone, too, but those are men who do not have cheekbones. Shade below the cheekbone to carve them out a little more… When you’re contouring and highlighting you don’t want to worry about lines meeting. So just overlap the fuck out of ’em and fix it later.” This would be a good moment to buff.
  6. Powder over the highlighter cream – “It sets it a little bit more, makes it more obvious that you’re a gentleman.”
  7. “The trick is just to load up as much as you can. It will sweat off later or your pillowcase will get it.”
  8. When you get to the point that, on looking in the mirror, “you want to procreate all over your face”, you are done. Voilà, you have mastered man make-up.

Photograph by Jason Lloyd-Evans

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