Drunk Online Shopping Is At An All-Time High, These Are Team Ten’s Best Intoxicated Purchases
Jacket and bags by Harry Freegard, trousers by Stefan Cooke, shoes by Dior
Picture this. It’s creeping up to 3am, you’ve spent your night elegantly necking champagne/Negronis/pints/piña coladas/tequila sodas/Jägerbombs [delete as applicable] and you’ve rounded off your successful evening with a celebratory trip to the golden arches. Only a fraction of your Big Mac makes it to your mouth. The rest either slumps down your t-shirt or find a home on your chin. The only thing that is now separating you from your bed is a forty minute night bus/tube/Uber journey across the city. Only a mere few minutes into your journey it’s headphones in, Safari open – it’s a four way date with Amazon, eBay and *cough* Tinder.
Disclaimer: this is no way autobiographical of anyone on the Ten team, we promise. But it’s no secret that when your vision becomes hazy from too much sauce, your shopping impulses rage. WWD reported today that drunk online e-comm rampages have increased on last year by a whopping $9 billion, now totalling around $39.4 billion a year in America alone. What are the culprits? Apparel, footwear and food make up 52.1 per cent of drunk buys, who would’ve thought! Finder.com‘s third report on tipsy online splurges reported that in 2018 alone that Americans on average spent $447 a year on drunk purchases. What is it about online shopping that’s so incredibly tempting after a couple of drinks? Perhaps were more relaxed or our inhibitions have gone out the window? In light of this, we remember Team Ten’s drunk purchases they wish they could forget…
Claudia Croft, Deputy Editor & Fashion Features Director
“I’d been out to the Serpentine gala and was giddy on warm champagne. On the way home in the taxi, I got it into my head that I really needed a Nike crop top in my life (for all the sport I don’t do and to show off the rock hard abs that I don’t have). I managed to find one that was two sizes too small (“Perfect!”), clicked ‘add to cart’ then forgot about it. When it arrived I had a tipsy flashback to that heady summer night of me singing along to Nile Rodgers and ranking other people’s facial work on a scale of ‘well done’ to ‘wind tunnel’. Oh, what happy memories! That’s probably why I kept the top. Will I ever wear it? Give me enough champagne and maybe…”
Helena Fletcher, Fashion & Features Assistant
“Last year I developed a habit of buying fun accessories on eBay after coming back from a night out, from purses to earrings nothing was sacred. Waking up to copious email notifications the following morning I’d be reminded of the previous night’s transgressions. It was all well and cute until I checked my bank balance and swiftly deleted the eBay app from my phone.”
Phoebe Briggs, Editorial Director
“I’m really into going into shops so don’t do much purchasing for me online BUT we have those Amazon Prime smart buttons for regular household purchases…. I got angry with the cat litter button as I thought it wasn’t working… And the next day a delivery driver arrived with 4 bags of Catsan. And then told me to wait whilst he went and got the rest of the order. And then the next lot. Yep, I’d ordered 14 20 litre bags of cat litter :-(“
Dino Bonacic, Online Editor
“Bidding on eBay after a few glasses of day-old red wine is my prerogative when it comes to online shopping. Actually, that’s the only time I’m willing to spend my money a bit less stingily. Cue a massive collection of tiny, slightly unpractical bags with a lot of sass and very little space to carry all my stuff. The latest one? A feather-embroidered navy bag that can’t even fit my iPhone.”
Paul Toner, Fashion and Features Intern
“It was about three years ago on my last night at Leeds festival. It was my first festival and I wanted to commemorate the occasion by buying some merchandise. For what I thought was a medium sized top simply saying ‘Leeds Festival’ turned out to be a skin tight tank top with a massive pink palm tree on the back. My little sister was delighted when I gave it to her as a present when I got home.”
Garth Spencer, Executive Fashion Director
“Late one night I found a pair of rare Helmut Lang jeans covered in rhinestones on eBay, I’d never seen them before and was super excited for this limited edition purchase to arrive. I thought they’d go perfectly with the Prada golf cowboy studded collection, which had just been released. When the package arrived from America I quickly came to realise that the jeans were actually home-bedazzled rather than as Helmut had originally intended. I sent them back.”
And finally – not under the influence or online, but rumour has it that a certain Editrix [name redacted] once missed her flight back from Mexico as she was too busy buying souvenirs. Oops!
Photograph by Arcin Sagdic, styled by Harry Lambert. Taken from Issue 49 of Ten Men.