Monday 25th April

| BY Natalie Dembinska

TEN MINUTES: At The Gym With Thierry Mugler

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Ouu, can I use the sling, please? Pretty please. My uncle used to have one just like it, to exercise his arthritic joints, and I always wanted to try it out. Would you strap me in? Whaddya mean it’s not a toy? I know it’s not a toy. It’s a highly specialised piece of workout equipment. So, about your comeback… what’s that toilet seat with the legs? Are you running a secret geriatric ward in your basement? Is that why you’re reluctant about this whole comeback idea? Yes, I know Nicola and Gaga have revived your name, but it’s just not the same without you at the helm. And you’ve already made your first baby step back into the spotlight. Beyoncé’s costumes were amaze! And you did a book. And Angel is still flying off the shelves. It really is your moment to shine. I say just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say yes. I’ll sort out all the details. Nothing big for you to worry about, just press and clothes. You can stay strapped to that stretch machine for as long as you like. You can design through me. Your spirit can inhabit my body and I can do all the public stuff. Whaddya say? It’d be like the resurrection, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Maybe George Michael could do another video? We could bring back Christy, Naomi, Linda, even Tatjana. I always loved Tatjana. Will you put that syringe down and listen – you’ve already had three steroid shots today. Redo the Vauxhall Corsa thingy, but this time shot by you! You could take over the world in the manner of a dictator of a small country. The idea is quite simply visionary. All you have to do is say yes. Please.

[ April 20, 2010 / 03:04-03:14 / SOME GREEK ISLAND ]